Orginally posted at Mommy Reviewed
Guide to Pirate Parenting
Author: Tim Bete
Paperback: 136 pages
Publisher: Cold Tree Press
If you're like most parents, you long to raise your children as pirates but just don't know how. In "Guide to Pirate Parenting," Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall provides everything you need to know to turn your little powder monkeys into happy, healthy buccaneers.
In Guide to Pirate Parenting you'll learn: . Ten benefits of raising a pirate . At what age your child should be able to remove a bottle cap by taking out his glass eye and using his eye socket as an opener . Which offense requires administering The Flying Dutchman Wedgie . How to prevent sogging the quartermaster . The best place to maroon your disobedient child . How to remove chewing gum or a giant octopus from your child's hair . The difference between plundering and pillaging . How to convert your minivan into a pirate schooner . When to smack your teenager in the side of the head with an oar.
Each information-packed section ends with "Your pirate's progress," a short quiz that shows whether your child is reaching his or her pirate development milestones.
These days most of us rely on parenting books to get us through the day. Oft times, these heavy tomes make a newbie parent feel inadequate or just overwhelm them with a staggering amount of dos and don'ts. Well, relief is in sight! Author Tim Bete has come up with a book that's a complete antidote to such serious works. It throws a new light on parenting, a light-hearted light, that is. The book, which purports to be a faithful representation of a conversation between the author and Captain Billy, a modern-day pirate who fancies himself a parenting guru and Dr. Phil combined, gives advice upon advice as to how to bring up your child as an up-and-coming Jack Sparrow aka pirate.
Reading this tongue-in-cheek narrative will bring tears to your eyes.... tears of laughter, that is! The check list is a must-read and will surely be cause of fresh mirth. It surely was in my household as I kept sharing choice sentences, funnily re-worded nursery rhymes, to my hubby who soon gave up any pretense of work as we smiled our way through this novel that reads more like a fiction than a non-fiction. More than parenting tips, this hilarious book provides tired, hassled parents with some much-needed and very welcome comic relief.
If you have a single serious parenting book in your house, then its more than enough reason to have this book right next to them. For the next time you feel like taking a break.
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