One of my fondest wish as a reader/reviewer has been that all books came with an extra blank space on each page for me to note down my thoughts. And an even fonder wish is that each book came with a Pen attached. For there is nothing worse than thinking up the perfect phrase which (in my mind, that is) captures the essence of a book or a scene or a character, only for it to evaporate into thin air by the time I've hunted down Pen and Paper.
Fox-hunting (all you animal lovers out there, please don't jump down my throat. I'm only using it as an example. The only thing I've ever hunted down are books. Books and an active toddler, that's all, I swear!) has nothing on the enthusiasm... make that desperation - with which I hunt for a Pen and something to scribble on.
On a sidenote here - don't grab the first empty page you come across as it's quite possible your hubby has written some VERY IMPORTANT stuff there to be faxed, on the other side. Where I didn't check to see!
And when I do find that elusive literary sword, guess what happens? That's right, it doesn't work!
And this happens with the regularity of Tides (think Sea, not washing machine) in my household. Either because my toddler prefers non-washable Pens to the expensive/washable crayons we've bought him. Or because our household is cursed with *Pen-itance* (cue weird, X-files kind of music here! Btw, did you know Gillian Anderson is expecting twins?! Naturally, I read that somewhere)
That's a word I use to describe the mysterious ailment that strikes all writing instruments in our house. They dry up, break just when needed most or disappear into thin air and are never found. Not even when you change residences! I had high hopes of finding a favorite Pen when we last moved, but nothing, nada, zip, zilch! Dust bunnies galore galloped away when I packed this, mismatched socks rolled out when I lifted that, I even found a favorite book neatly sandwiched between the wall and the headboard ... but there was no sight of the Pen.
And it's not just Pens that are afflicted by this Ssssssinister Sssssslipperinesssss. It affects Pencils equally! I'm surprised Pentagon has not yet swooped down on my house and made off with all our Pencils. They have lead, they're not broken, they've just been sitting prettily in a "so and so went to Vegas and all they got me was this crappy half-cup" cup and yet ..... wait for it ..... here it comes ..... THEY don't W-R-I-T-E! Invisible writing - that's what they produce and none the wiser for it. (Shhh... no one tell the enemies!)
Forget nuclear holocaust, move over Bermuda Triangle! My household causes Pens and Pencils to not work or disappear off the face of this earth! So, if you ever visit us, leave your writing implements at the Airport. You have a better chance of finding them there than in the dark void of Pen-itance here!
Has Pen-itance or something else stuck you? Have anything weird to report? We're all friends here. Come and share!
Want Free books?!
Father's Day Giveaway - St.Martins (3 books to win). Ends June 30.